No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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