Its about making memories worth repressing
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize