I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
"it" just moved
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
