4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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