The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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