Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
