I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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