I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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