At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
