I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
