I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
