She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
