week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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