Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
