I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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