wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
