i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
