My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
