i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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