I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I wish i was in the wii world.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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