i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize