i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
