I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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