I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
