i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
