You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize