i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i think i have herpe
just one?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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