dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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