Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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