i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
