we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
