I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
