Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
