I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
