why didn't you poke me back
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
