there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize