If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
