i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
