i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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