just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
