I'm going to jail i love you
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you win again, gameday.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
