We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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