My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
