It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
