Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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