I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
