y did u give ur computer a hand job?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
