sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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