the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize