Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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