I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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