You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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