I smell stomach acid.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
