I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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