Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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