What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
