I don't usually arrange sex via text message
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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