I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
In America we eat man semen.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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