do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
