Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize