Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
