Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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