I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
