I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
