I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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