so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
