hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
