I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
